| mmm... life....... |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|10:04 pm] |
life... non stop commotion as usual... and i love it, usually.
I finally moved to memphis and love nearly every aspect of it so far. it feels good to finally be on my own and it is just now starting to sink in that i am on my own and not at home. Today i did get home sick however and came back right after work. I'll be head back tommorow night.
i would say more but i am going to spend time with my mom, not on a computer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|01:28 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | these arms are snakes | ] |
so i have this friend, he's a close friend.... some shit happend that shouldn't have. i told him it didn't happen on purpose, he wanted to belive me but said he's just not sure weither he belives me. So i thought it was over with. I mean, i never think about it anymore. But he obviously does. Well other things have happend that he's heard that didn't really happen. But he sees it the way he sees it and knows nothing of what actually happend.... which was nothing. He doesn't know all the details, etc... Now he won't answer the phone when i call so i can't talk to him. He only knows what a 3rd party has told him. Reguardless.... i'm so fucking bummed about it. I couldn't sleep last night over the email he sent me... when i finally got to sleep i woke up in the morning still thinking about it... Fuck.... that's all i can say.
that was so vauge. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|01:30 am] |
i love how my ex gf gave me shit for smoking pot and then tonight she messages me and tells me that she is high right now.... and then appologizes.
we then immediatly make plans to smoke each other out next time we see one another.... ohh nashville. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|12:04 am] |
crys from afar is all i hear in my head at the current moment.... for what, i can't decipher. i really wish my hearing was better so i could understand what they were trying to tell me. ohh well, right? i'll strap on my rocket boots and blast off in the opposite direction to avoid confrontation.... yeah, that'll work for now. "I'm being dumb again", i have to keep telling myself over and over. I'm definatly over analyzing things again... and what for... nothing, something i don't even have. Things will be better in time i know, even now, i truely have nothing to worry about... perhaps when the abode i live in changes to a village, instead of this straw hut in the middle of a vast forrest, i'll find that thing that i'm seeking. Perhaps i can get a job where all i do is ramble and tell stories... i'd be good at that, considering all i do is ramble about nonsense.... and supposedly my stories are way out there, but obvious that they are not made up. Ohh, i certianly have a story for just about everything, that's for sure. And those things that i don't.... i can land something in the same ball park definatly. Life is like that to me... constintly handing me nothing, where i usually see gold.
ohh and there's that phone call i've been waiting for........ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2006|08:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | king bummed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | music from the living room... tbs right now actually | ] |
life.\\\\\ constent circles.... that's all it amounts to these days.... same shit, day in, day out. It's time for a change. but i don't know what exactly. I feel like i need to move out. I want to move to jackson for aparent reasons, my band... close friends.... that's really about it. I want to move to memphis... for the city, close friends, my band(side project/my drummer lives there, so it'd be cheaper for us to come to practice... i'm spending more then him at the current moment driving back and forth from practice.) shows, a chance to actually meet new people and a change of scenery. The only damper to memphis right now would be finding a job that'd be cool with me taking time off for shows and at the same time make enough for bills, i'm sure i could couch hop for a month and be alright. Also not seeing my jackson friends as much would be a bummer. I don't know.... i'm thinking memphis right now, seriously... But i'm going to attempt to wait till we go to record.
Then there is the girl aspect of life. I swear the old saying "can't live with them, can't live with out them" is soo true. There is this one girl that i'm growing very fond of and is hitting the right buttons, but i'm not going to date her, yet... i'm not ready to start dating again. I'm not over mary by anymeans and it drives me insane somedays. It's like right when i think i'm okay/over her, i see or think about something and hits me hard. I've come right down to loathing her, and i can't find the reason why i even liked her enough to date her a 2nd time. i just jumped into it with out thinking. I realized she has no passion about anything in life and it really bothers me that she gets fucked up every night. i don't want that... i like to see the girl i'm dating have passion in something, anything. And getting fucked up everynight.... seriously grow up. I could probally keep on about her but i'm not. One thing i'm worried about with this new girl is that i'm so afraid that i am liking her for the wrong reasons. We were friends before we started talking, and i really don't want to mess that up. i dunno. i'm just going slow with this one.
reguardless of all this, i'll be in memphis this weekend.... it'll be fun, call me... let's hang out.
friday night around 7 is when i'll show up probally, i'll be there all day saturday.... and possibly sunday.
7314143280 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|10:24 pm] |
One thing i hate more than anything else..... when i try to call someone on their cell phone and they don't answer. If it happens once i get just alittle annoyed, but nothing major. But everytime i try to call that one person, yeah.... that really gets under my skin... especially when they call them selves a friend.(i'm generalizing about everyone)
I guess they think i'm just calling because i need something from them, or i'm wanting them to do something for me... No, not the case... sometimes i like to just talk to "friends" or maybe i want to hang out.... bleh.... what's even worse are the ones who will call you but not answer when you try calling them!!!!!
seriously, what's the point of having a cell phone if your not going to answer it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|02:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dark path, blue sky rough recording | ] |
life is good again....
i'm excited about dark path more than i can express
i'm excited about finishing this 922 record and getting it recorded and what comes after.
i'm excited about sarabell and how it's coming along
i'm happy to be single right now
i'm just happy, put it that way
today is her birthday and i won't be calling.... thursday ends this 2 week break... but it's more of an ending to her in whole for me atleast... i'm finished with her and her ways.... and i'm glad that i can say i can move on.... now i just have to talk to her and not fall again.... i honestly never want to speak/see her again in mylife... but that is imposible with all the ties we have together.
but at least i'm happy right now. |
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| just what i needed........ |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|01:05 am] |
After a SUPER stressful last week, this week has been nothing but good..... I just returned from memphis. And i seriously can't express how much that was needed. To escape the norm for 3 days. It was the breath of fresh air that i've been needing for a long time. Now i have the house to myself untill Monday Which just makes this week even better.
So if your reading this.... come hang out with me at any given time.
731-414-3280
also
Free show
September 22nd
@ my house
9054 s. 1st
milan, tn 38358
7pm
come kick it, grilling, partying, rasing hell |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|03:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | unsure | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | vhs or beta | ] |
so, my dog is laying down behind me right now and her tummy keeps making all these weird noises..... i swear she ate a dragon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|10:07 pm] |
i just wrote the best writing i've ever done in my entire life..... and the letter made that person cry.....
i feel like i'm going to be sick...... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|01:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Godspeed You! Black Emperor | ] |
This is like a reacuring nightmare. Just when i'm happy again... bam, your back. And today of all days... perfect. Just perfect. Those words were like an arrow peircing my heart(and i hate to sound cliche, but it's the feeling). *sighs* Onward to battle... right? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|06:24 pm] |
on my home page i have a daily fortune and several times i've had one that says "you aspire to be a viking", which is fitting. but todays is even more amazing.
"Money is the root of all evil. And man needs roots."
think that over... in everyway possible.... deep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|12:16 pm] |
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the past 3 days i have caught myself saying "i love life"... and i do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|01:26 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cult of luna | ] |
n/a |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|12:41 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | planes mistaken for stars | ] |
Oh life. I'm already wearing a suit of brown. Why must you keep on? All your doing is making me laugh and smile. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|12:24 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | These Arms are Snakes | ] |
I only write when something bothers me, or I'm depressed. I only write when I'm so excited the words I type/write/say don't make sense... Hardly to myself even. Tonight I write because I have nothing. I feel nothing. I am nothing.
I feel numb. You say you feel numb when your in shock. Your so in shock that what has just happend doesn't make sense and you can't make anything of it. No, i feel numb. Nothing at all. You say you feel numb to try and figure it out, searching for that moment of clarity. Not the case, there's nothing but clarity. A blank void that should probally be filled by something, anything. But by what is the question. I could think of a million things but nothing would compelete me.
Mark |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|10:46 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | vhs or beta | ] |
you got me - vhs or beta
that song makes me feel in love. |
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